I think Yuto hates me…๐Ÿ˜ข

Current mood:


Hate might be too strong but I think he feels uncomfortable around me.๐Ÿ˜ž Okay, slow down. I need to give proper context first.

Pre-Event

I attended the ONF Asia Tour stop in Hong Kong last March 29. Ticket holders were entitled to a hi-touch and another benefit of their choice: 1) attend the rehearsal, 2) get a signed poster, or 3) take a group photo with ONF. I chose to attend the rehearsal because I’d like to see their performances longer. I came with my mom. We queued up an hour before the rehearsals. There were several fans who came before us. Unfortunately, there was some confusion about where to queue. A lot of us were queued up in the second floor after the security guard directed us there. However, another queue in front of the hall’s main entrance was suddenly formed near the time; thus voiding several fans’ effort who queued up early. Many Fuses got pissed off and were rambling on how disappointed they were. Some weren’t able to attend the rehearsal. I don’t understand Cantonese and Korean so everything just sounded gibberish to me.๐Ÿ˜… There was little effort to reach out to us international fans so I just went with the flow of people. I couldn’t understand the instructions at all apart from some clues I get from body language. I wasn’t alone. There were other international fans too. I met up with a Fuse from Kyoto who also joined the 1theK dance cover contest. My mom also tagged along so it wasn’t that bad. I hope the organizers can become more considerate of international fans next time and at least explain instructions in English too.

On a good note, HK Fuses gave out sign boards and finger lights to wave at the concert. There were fansites who distributed cheering slogans too. I received a nice birthday photo of Yuto.๐Ÿฅฐ He is a handsome Jack Frost.โ„๏ธ

Rehearsals

There were about 3-4 lines thick of Fuses who went to watch the rehearsal. Majority flocked in front of the stage. I preferred to stand at the back, near the middle of the room where there was A LOT of room to breathe in and move about. I could see the whole stage better too. Technically, unauthorized photography and videography was prohibited so it didn’t make that much sense to me to crowd in front. I’m also used to attending dance concerts, plays and recitals so I like the center view better that has considerable distance to the stage to appreciate the whole production. My friend from Kyoto said that for most fans, getting as close to the members as possible is the utmost priority. Okay. That kind of makes sense.

ONF performed like one and a half songs but it was so worth it because I got to see Yuto dance in an all-black outfit and a black cap. ๐Ÿ’“

Fan Meeting Proper

My friend wanted to join the crowd in front of the stage but I couldn’t see a thing and I’m bad with crowds so I told her that I’d watch the concert from the back near the sound booth. Not even half of the hall was filled so I felt a bit sad for ONF. Fans of the guest performers also left immediately after Mirror performed so there were even fewer people in the second half. But all of us who stayed until the end were loyal fans who love ONF to the core. The energy didn’t drop at all. The whole hall continued to be filled with so much love. I hope that ONF felt that and weren’t too disappointed with the turn out.

I didn’t record a single thing during the event – no photo or video because 1) it’s not allowed, 2) I’m not a camera person, and 3) I like to enjoy the performance live so I’m at the mercy of those brave, rebellious souls who did take them.

I loved all the performances! ONF is so good live! โœจ The quality of their performances and songs are fantastic. I sincerely hope more people will appreciate their talent.

Hi-Touch

Now on to the real highlight of the evening. I was really nervous to see ONF up-close again. In one of the episodes of ‘On The Run Japan’ , it showed ONF in a line along a table and fans lined up to give a quick high five to each of the members. I also saw a photo of 1Team members standing on stage standing apart while fans move from one member to another to give a high five and engage in some small talk. (yikes!) I wasn’t sure which type of hi-touch event ONF would do so I just played all sorts of scenarios in my head. I was slightly dreading it and slightly looking forward to it. When ONF gathered at the foyer after the encore performance, I figured it was the former so I was slightly relieved because I’m really bad at small talk.

There was a queue. Upon reaching the foyer, it was like in the movies where you’re greeted with bright light. When my eyes finally adjusted in a split second, I found myself staring straight at Yuto and E-tion who were near the middle of the members’ line. And guess what? They were staring straight right at me too with a startled look with mouth open and all. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ Our eyes met and I knew they recognized me. I’m not sure if they remembered me because I was wearing the same cap as I wore in the dance cover video, or in the Christmas Eve event where I was the only one screaming like a crazy person. Anyway, they did so I’m happy about that. I then had to shift my attention towards MK who was nearest to me and the rest of the members who politely thanked us for coming. I told the group as I breezed through the hi-touches with MK, Hyojin and J-US , “Great show, you guys! We had so much fun.” Then, E-tion greeted me warmly, “Thank you so much for coming.” It was heartfelt and sincere. I smiled back at him. I thought he was probably exhausted during the Christmas Eve event so he wasn’t as responsive. He made eye contact the whole time so I had to focus on him, but I could see Yuto in my peripheral vision, moving around. I’m not sure what he was up to. Then came my moment with Yuto. I took a deep breath to calm myself but not too obviously. For some reason, he seemed to have climbed up on something and was looking for someone or something at the entrance to the foyer. He raised his hand a bit high so I had to reach up for my hi-touch. I was too shy to look at him. I was looking down the whole time. The few times I sneaked a look I could only see his perfect jawline and parts of the side of his face from the bottom. I figured he probably doesn’t want to talk to me or see me. Maybe I was too annoying the last time he saw me. Maybe it was a strategy not to engage enthusiastic fans like me. I tried to mellow down and better control myself this time around though.๐Ÿ˜Ÿ Maybe he was traumatized in our last encounter or maybe it’s a precautionary measure to avoid provoking fans. I’ll never know for sure. I felt a bit sad, really. I wanted to see him smile a bit. He seems so comfortable and friendly with other fans in the fan sign videos. I guess he just isn’t comfortable around me. Well, it’s understandable I guess, when someone confesses to you and you don’t feel the same, it’s awkward. It must be really hard to be an idol. As we did a hi-touch, our hands touched for about 2 secs. I blurted out, “I love you.” Yes, in English. While looking down, I said it in a matter of factly tone. It wasn’t hyped up or anything. I was just like laying down a cold, hard truth. ๐Ÿ˜ถ He probably heard it a gazillion times before. Then, I moved on to do a hi-touch with Laun and Wyatt. My heart ached a bit.๐Ÿ’” Looking at the bright side, it helps me to move on. Of course, the last thing any girl wants is for the guy she likes to feel uncomfortable so I don’t know…maybe I should keep my distance and just avoid events where I get to directly interact with him. Maybe I’m just too conscious of him. He probably didn’t mean any harm. Not everything is about me. It could all just be coincidence (yea sure) that he was busy with something at that exact moment we were to have the hi-touch.๐Ÿ˜ญ I’m trying to convince myself that he doesn’t hate me at least. ๐Ÿ˜ญ

He dropped this dance video of his original choreography the following day to torture me more. ๐Ÿ˜ญ I’m kidding. Who am I even for him to remember? Everything is probably just my imagination. The world is not about me. ๐Ÿ’”

Thoughts?

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